


DNA

by wastefulreverie



Series: PhannieMay Shots 2018 [3]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Casper High, Funny, Gen, Ghost DNA, High School, Humor, Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 20:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17230955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastefulreverie/pseuds/wastefulreverie
Summary: When Vlad buys a new microscope for Casper High, of course Danny ends up being the one that loses.





	DNA

 

It was a given rule that whenever Vlad started a new mayoral campaign, it typically didn't end well. This time, it wasn't exactly how Danny had expected it, and to tell the truth, the blame wasn't really on Vlad in the end.

This time, it was Mr. Falluca's fault.

Up in his pretentious office in City Hall, the pathetic fruit-loop decided to take a break from his usual villainous schemes and actually decided to do his job as Mayor, for once. What a rare occurrence! (It's not like he only got the job to be a dick to his nemesis or anything, who _ever_ said anything about _that_?)

So, Vlad Masters, overnight billionaire, CEO of DALV tech, and owner of various research laboratories throughout the midwest, granted Amity's local high-school with brand new, high-dollar, fancy science equipment. Of course, none of the students really cared (albeit, the science geeks didn't really count), so the teachers had to find ways to coax their pupils to appreciate the Mayor's generosity and their own privileges as part of the Amity Park community.

So what better way to force children to feel privileged than to deliberately flaunt expensive, paraphernalia that can only feed their spoiled arrogance?

“Thanks to the gracious donation of Mayor Masters,” Mr. Falluca opened, with an unnatural air of zeal, “today our class will be visiting our recently renovated science lab to examine our new electron microscope! We're the only high-school in the state with access to one!”

Paulina scoffed, “What's so special about one silly microscope? You could probably buy five of my outfits with what Mr. Masters spent on that hunk of junk.”

“That's where you're wrong, Ms. Sanchez. An electron microscope is a very professional piece of equipment; it can magnify something up to 2 million times it's original size! That's why it's the only microscope able to see the Watson-Crick double-helix!”

From the back of the classroom, something shifted. Sam, who was sitting with Danny and Tucker (one, who was perfectly dead asleep (pun not intended); and the other, who was salivating over getting to see such intimate technology), raised her hand impatiently.

Mr. Falluca broke from his enthusiasm and called on her, “Yes, Ms. Manson?”

“How does this relate to our current topic material? This week, we're supposed to be learning about photosynthesis and cellular respiration. We finished our unit on DNA last month. So, why is this relevant? You  _never_ break your lesson plans,” she rambled; trained, purple eyes narrowing in accusation.

“Well, clearly it's to check out the new micro-thingy, like he  _said_ we were. Are you deaf Manson?” Dash chortled. “You sure dress like it! Geddit, 'deaf' and 'death': she dresses like death!”

Only the A-List laughed.

“I was pretty sure I made our lesson plan for the day clear, Ms. Manson,” Mr. Falluca answered, ignoring the jabs of harassment.

“You mean we're only wasting our time on something we've already learned just so the school can show off it's shiny new prize?” Sam deadpanned. “I appreciate science, probably more than most people, but how does this help our education at all? The normal microscopes are efficient enough to cover our state standards. The only people who use this kind of microscope are Ivy League graduates! Science is important, but this is just a pageant of who has the most cash to waste. Not to mention, Mr. Master's grant could have gone to increase security in our school, replace broken desks and missing bathroom stalls, eliminate the mildew in the basement, improve the lunch menu-”

“Like we haven't heard _that one_ before,” Dash rolled his eyes.

“This school has an abundance of problems that can be solved,” Sam continued. “We're never going to accomplish them if all our money is wasted on ostentatious _toys_ that won't truly improve our education. This is what's wrong with the American school system!”

“That's enough Ms. Manson,” Mr. Falluca glared. “It would be appreciated if you kept your criticism about the tools of our curriculum to yourself, after all, for science to improve, it must be available for the young to learn quickly so we don't fall behind in this fast-paced world. We're not living in the dark ages, despite... some preferences.”

Sam rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah, say what you want.  _I'm goth_ , I get it. I'm just saying that maybe the school is creating problems faster than they can resolve them.”

This time, Mr. Falluca simply ignored the outspoken girl and continued with his lesson outline. “Alright class, since we're going to the science lab, you all need pencil and paper to take notes. We also need to be quiet in the hallways so we don't disturb any classes that might be s...”

And so the weary students stood from their desks and shuffled over to the door, absently chatting as they did so. Tucker leaned over and nudged Danny, who was still drooling all over his desk.

“Danny wake up, we're gonna examine zoomed-in DNA in the science lab.”

Danny shot up immediately, shoulders tensed, before dejectedly slumping back down. “Wha...?” he slurred. “The famine consumed your PDA?”

Tucker sighed, “No dude, seriously wake up. Science lab, DNA and stuff.”

This time Danny seemed to get the message and shook himself awake. “Oh, right, I'm still in school. Bummer.”

“Bummer for all of us,” Sam growled, still angry at Falluca. “I wish that stupid ass-hat would actually listen to me for once. None of the adults even listen to my opinions, and the student council just thinks I'm a joke!”

Danny looked at Tucker, “I miss something?”

Tucker lowered his voice, in attempt to not further enrage the glowering girl, “Nah, another debate about the deteriorating educational system blew up in her face, again.”

Danny nodded in understanding.

When the class reached the lab, Falluca returned to flailing his arms around in a geekly excitement. “May I present to you, our latest addition and accolade to our school, the electron microscope!”

The class looked unimpressed at a bulky microscope that appeared three times taller than Falluca himself, which wasn't that tall considering how short he is.

“To demonstrate it,” he began, “I need a DNA sample from a volunteer. So which one of you would like to have the class look at the code that determines your genetics!”

If Falluca was trying to persuade the class into showing any interest, it didn't work. He was met with twenty stares of awkward silence, leaving him to mercilessly pick a volunteer at random. And as Murphy had it, he  _had_ to pick Danny.

“Since no one else is willing to participate, I suppose that I'll just have Mr. Fenton do it.”

Dash snorted, “Who here wants to look at his  _puny_ DNA. It'll take more than 2 million times of – uh, magnets to see... see the smallest parts of him!”

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Tucker asked, unimpressed.

“Wait,” Danny said, his sleep-deprived mind just processing Mr. Falluca's statement, “Why do  _I_ have to do it?”

“Because... since nobody stepped up, I had to choose randomly, ” Mr. Falluca explained. To tell the truth, he'd noticed the boy was sleeping earlier and figured this was a good way to force some awake participation. “All I need is one or two hairs, it's not a big deal.”

“Well...” Danny thought, thinking of what could possibly show up in his DNA. He wasn't sure if being half-ghost was visible or not. On one hand, his DNA could be perfectly normal, but on the other, it could literally spell out the words 'I'm a ghost!'. It was a probably a good idea not to risk it. “I don't really feel comfortable with it. Can you use someone else's?”

“Really, Fenton, it's not really that personal, it's just hair, and I would like to use yours for the experiment.”

Danny shifted awkwardly on his feet. It was going to be hard to evade Mr. Falluca, especially without having a valid reason to refuse. After all, hair wasn't a big deal and creating a scene over it would  _not_ help things. “Still, I – I'd rather not,” he protested again.

At his second refusal, Dash cockily raised an eyebrow, “Why are you afraid to give away your hair? Are you afraid someone will clone you or something?” he chortled in laughter, prompting the A-List to join. “Ah, I kill me. After all, who would want to clone you?”

“You'd be surprised,” Danny muttered, accidentally commenting aloud.

“Huh?” Dash questioned, overall confused.

“You know what,” Sam said, drawing attention to herself instead, “I'll volunteer. Use my hair for the DNA test.”

“No,” Mr. Falluca refused point-blank. “You've already made your view about this machine very clear, Ms. Manson, not to mention, I asked Mr. Fenton, so he'll be the one to do it.”

Danny realized that he was slowly running out of options. He couldn't really say no to his teacher, and he definitely didn't want to get in trouble for something so trivial, because there was a likely chance his parents would get involved. That was something he definitely didn't need in the middle of all of this. Unfortunately, there wasn't going to be an easy way out of this, not including the unlikelihood of a spontaneous ghost attack. Therefore, he'd have to give in sooner or later.

So at that realization, Danny gave a deflated sigh and hesitantly plucked two or three strands of hair from his head and handed them to Mr. Falluca, who immediately prepared to put them on a slider. About two minutes later, the teacher had prepped the sample of hair and had adjusted the gigantic microscope to the appropriate settings. Eagerly, Falluca looked at the DNA sample, excited to be the first teacher in the school to test out the new 'toy', as Sam had put it.

The class watched, as Falluca's expression fell from one of enthusiasm to muddled puzzlement. He looked up from the microscope every few seconds as if to make sure everything around him was still real. “There must be something wrong with the filter on the lens...” he finally muttered.

Panic constricted in Danny's chest. He knew, didn't he? Christ, he should've known there was something obviously ghostly about his DNA. He basically just wrote down his secret and put in under a literal microscope for the world to see. He should've just taken a punishment instead, but of course he chose the wrong solution. His mind started to slip into anxiety:  _this isn't good isn't good isn't good isn't_ –

“Sir,” Mikey asked Falluca, “what's wrong?”

Mr. Falluca looked away from the microscope, and faced his students with a pondering look. “Everything's completely normal with the sample,” he explained to the class. “It's just that... one half of the helix is emitting some kind of green luminescence. Like one stranded is coated in green, and the other is unaffected.”

Danny laughed nervously, “Well this thing's never been used before, it's probably just a lens error, like you said.”

As he said it, he doubted Mr. Falluca believed it either.

_Damn it Vlad, why did you have to buy the school a fancy microscope in the first place?_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I uh, don't really think that electron microscopes work like that, but they are the only microscopes big enough to see DNA. But from my five minutes of research on them, I don't think they have to ability to see much detail, nonetheless color. But whatever. Who writes accurate science fiction in this fandom anyway?


End file.
